top of the roller coaster

You know that feeling that you get when you ride a roller-coaster? When you're at the top of the first big hill, and the roller-coaster stops for just a second before letting you plummet to the bottom?  You can get that feeling in life, sometimes, too. Not everything is that top-of-the-hill stomach drop, but a lot of things come really close.

I'm learning that I often get a hint of that feeling, and do everything to stop it. Including never going on roller-coasters! Sometimes that feeling is called:

*Risk

*Trying new things

*Love

*Relationship

*Being the new girl

*Speaking up

*Being brave in my life and art

*Making my own choices

And since each of these things include a roller-coaster stomach-drop [for me] then ... I avoid them! At all costs! But what if ... life is about feeling that feeling as often as it comes?  What if I'm supposed to be leaning in to that feeling instead of running away? How much of my life have I missed at twenty-four?

I guess I'll be learning to lean in in 2010. What about you?