quiet + world + creative

I've moved!

2010-05-27T14:41:00.000-04:00

I've moved! Update your RSS's and Google Readers and bookmarks to:

http://www.quietworldcreative.com

[and come see me there - some fun new stuff posted this week :]]

iPhone photography : Spring!

2010-04-07T22:29:00.000-04:00

Spring is here :] Judging by the thick yellow dust on my everything, Spring intends to make it's mark this year, too. Here are a few iPhone photos from the last few weeks:

[sunset @ tribble mill park]

[weeds and sunshine]

[light on the dock]

[easter gift from my mommy]

[chai and notes with Betsy]

[a door and a direction]

[starbucks date]

[i so want this cow coffee cup]

[and one of my all time favorite text messages, again from Bets]

creative life: the good, the bad, the salsa of it all.

2010-03-31T15:39:00.004-04:00

I woke up at 5 Monday morning {which, by the way, is totally ungodly. I don't care who you are [hah, hi dad] but seriously. 5 am is just ... so wrong. I agree with my mommy: Vespers is the best time of day} But anyway, that's not the point here. I woke up at 5 Monday morning, and I began seriously and immediately craving salsa.

I don't know, I didn't question it, I just woke and knew: today, somehow, someway, I will have salsa.

It was like my soul needed salsa. And, magically, Betsy and I went to lunch at my new-slash-old favorite taqueria in Decatur [new because we've been there twice in the last week, and old, because the last time I was there was in highschool] and I ordered chips-and-salsa. And was presented with a beautiful plate of three varieties of salsa. I should have just eaten that for lunch. My soul was immediately happy.

I so wish that my creativity was like that plate of salsa: I craved, I said it out loud, and Bets took me to a place where I could get it. I wish I could:

*Get Inspired [crave]

*Fully imagine the whole experience [say it out loud]

*Have someone take me to the place I need to go to get what I need to complete it

But I find, more often now than ever, that my creativity is like a mountain, in that it's as much about the climbing as it is about being at the top.

Sometimes it's as much about the craving as it is about satisfying the craving.

{both photos iPhone photos by (c)quiet+world+creative}

can't get enough [photos from the first day of spring]

2010-03-21T10:52:00.001-04:00

I don't know what's changed.

but i can't get enough.

not enough food.

not enough sunshine.

not enough coffee, or happiness, or sleep, or greif.

i feel like there is an itch for life inside me that will never be scratched all the way.

i am content, but i feel like i will never have enough.

of life, you know?

i feel like i could swallow the moon, and still want more moonlight. i could read every word ever written, and still want to buy more books.

can't get enough, won't get enough, need to get enough.

late night + Big Woods

2010-03-18T11:48:00.002-04:00

depth of field love ...

2010-03-16T15:00:00.001-04:00

love these tiny, itty flowers in my front yard right now:

confessions + gifts

2010-03-12T21:36:00.002-05:00

my friend betsy says i have the spiritual gift of dream catching.

i don't know if i know about that, but i'm accessorized well if it's true.

i've been thinking a lot about gifts + dreams + life lately. i'm doing a lot of growing and changing, and that leads to lots of new thoughts.

in alice in wonderland, the Mad Hatter comments on Alice's loss of 'muchness'.

i feel like i've lost my muchness.

like i'm afraid to go after what i really want. like i might make someone mad if i do, or i might step on someone's toes, or someone might think i'm dumb if i open my mouth.

then last night: meltdown. full on angsty-angst meltdown. i'm getting really close to figuring out my dreams, and taking all kinds of leaps towards reaching them. but for every step forward, there are two steps back. that's part of growth, right? [yes]

after we wrapped filming a little project for the church, and i was melting down on the inside, my friend made me stand in the room we were using for filming and punch his hands. i don't know how to throw a punch, but he made me punch his hands anyway. i was surprised at what i found myself saying while we stood there.

i'm scared, i don't trust, i don't want, i do want, i can't, what if?
so much growth, so fast, means i might have forgotten who i am a little.

i've forgotten my muchness.

i'd like to sleep now, and work on remembering it when i wake up.

photos on the go

2010-03-11T15:58:00.001-05:00

favorite recent iPhone photos. rest of the set can be found here.

I'm in a funk this week; one of those where I can't stop listening to the same forty-five seconds of one song. Over and over and over. Ever feel that way?

January/February Journal

2010-03-03T12:33:00.000-05:00

I closed the cover of my January/February journal-slash-life-book. I really didn't think I could finish a whole journal in two months, but apparently my life has been really really full the last few weeks!

I did a little styled photo shoot instead of scanning my pages. Natural light is my love!
The rest of the set can be found on flickr, here.

i listen to the foo fighters when i'm feisty.

2010-03-02T15:56:00.001-05:00

today i feel:

*loud

*messy

*not nice

*managed

*pushed

*feisty

*cold

*cramped

*tired

*fast

change is coming. i don't know how, i don't know when or where, but it's coming.

things that have been inspiring me lately [photobooth photos :]]

2010-02-12T22:11:00.002-05:00

I'm loving these markers right now:

I could watch this movie every day until forever:

and masking tape!

and this book!

and a pretty spread in a journal from my lovely friend betsy

and i'm making good progress on this little list:

much love on this snowy weekend! xoxo

january digital journal pages

2010-02-02T09:46:00.001-05:00

I'm trying something new with this digital scrapbooking thing, and I have to confess ... I'm addicted. I love scrapbooking/art journaling, but sometimes just getting supplies out is more time than I have. But since I'm almost always mobile, and almost always have my laptop with me, I can find little scraps of time to put spreads together [or like last night - I finished this set while laying in bed and watching a movie at midnight]. I'm liking how this is fitting my life, and helping me learn all-important Photoshop skills!

I learned a lot from this pretty lady: www.shimelle.com

And gathered some supplies [paper backgrounds and stamps] from here: www.twopeasinabucket.com

and most of the supplies I used were by Erica Hernandez.

growth

2010-01-31T22:41:00.000-05:00

vlog 2.0

2010-01-30T16:13:00.000-05:00

This week was a big week for quiet world creative. A few weeks ago, a team of friends and I headed down to midtown to shoot footage for a 'music vid' for a night at Water's Edge. It was a crazy fun day, so we decided to shoot a little behind-the-scenes vlog to go along with the video! First vid is the vlog - just silliness and fun. Second vid is the actual vid! It's set to Kanye's "Amazing". Be sure to watch to the end of the vlog to see a little live-action shot of the night - drumline + dustin bringing it + vid. So sweet!

behind the scenes - vlog 2.0 from quietworldcreative on Vimeo.

amazing : rough draft from quietworldcreative on Vimeo.

office days + studio nights

2010-01-29T18:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday all :] I'm about to go and spend a happy friday night in my basement studio. You can expect to see a little of the following over the weekend:

+ A new vlog!
+ A new stopmotion [well, it's new to this blog :]]
+ Photos uploaded to 365project on flickr
+ Progress made on a new scrapbook [note to self - print some new photos!]
+ A few tries at some digi-scrapbooking. Spent some time researching and looking up tutorials [ps - this lady here is brilliant and i'm learning a bunch! i might sign up for one of her online classes soon, i love it!]

... or i might just sit in my space and watch a movie and eat chocolate. either way ... it's a good day!

thinking + feeling + moving

2010-01-27T11:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think I am paralyzed in taking actions because I am equal parts thinker and feeler. One never over-rides the other. If it feels good to make a move, does it match up logically? If it's logical to make a move, does it feel right?

I need to make peace with the fact that sometimes, the right thing feels right to my intuition, but doesn't match up in numbers and logic. And sometimes logic and numbers are right, even though they don't feel to happy.

I need to make peace with both sides of my personality. Split down the middle, 50/50 artist and admin, it just means that I need to figure out how that works, and make it work for me, not against me.

That was my waking-up thought today. I'll let you know when I find out how it plays out in real life :]

transforming!

2010-01-25T23:36:00.000-05:00

ps! before i go to sleep, a quickie pic of the new hair. i have more thoughts to share about the experience tomorrow :]

before! [fondly referred to as mufasa mane]

and after! still getting used to it, but looooving it so far!

pps - this is my usual pose while i'm sitting at the computer, when i'm not typing. just realized that as i sat and thought about this, and sat just like that.

risk + reward

2010-01-25T23:31:00.001-05:00

Some musings tonight from my Evening Pages [supposed to be Morning Pages, but I'm trying something new, to see if it works better for me. Three pages of brain dumping at the end of the day. I'm sleeping way better and creating more, if that's any sign]

Just thoughts, I'll come back with more complete ones later ...

+ I think I could be pushed to the edge of myself every day if I could be refreshed as deeply as I was tonight, after the end of a very edge-pushing day.

+ How is it that the riskiest/most roller-coaster-y feeling things are both life-giving and life-taking? It takes MORE of me to do those things, but I get so much more back in return. How does that work?

+ Why is it so hard for me to try new things? I don't understand this about myself. I'm praying for courage in my life right now.

+ I love people, so so much.

+ What does it mean to cultivate creative land? How am I doing this for myself? How am I helping others do the same?

+ How long does it take old dreams to die?

+ What in my life am I missing out on right now by not being willing to risk?

I'm open to advice on any of the above questions :] Just a little peek into my headspace right now! Yikes!

In other news, I started making a new scrapbook/journal [scrounal?] tonight. So excited for that. Life book is growing beautifully. Evening pages are helping me sort so many thoughts. My piano is in the master bath right now since the house is getting a little reno work done, and the acoustics are amazing, and I'm not apologizing for playing the piano in the bathroom.

Look out for a new vlog coming Wednesday! I have something super exciting to share!

on getting a hair cut

2010-01-22T22:16:00.001-05:00

A blog about getting a hair cut.

Not conventional, not important, not big or deep or transforming, in most worlds.

But in my world ... it's big. It's important and big and deep and transforming.

It means that it's 2010 - its a year for doing things. Not thinking about things [well, still thinking about things] but DOING things. That's my list of 24 before 25. Things to do. Do decide and define who I am.

That's this hair cut tomorrow. More about deciding where I want to go and getting there than just getting a hair cut.

I'm not doing a good job of explaining this, but I needed you to know. I'm getting a hair cut tomorrow, and it's more than a hair cut. The next time I'm here, I'll be different, and not just because I'll be blonde again.

life journaling

2010-01-22T22:06:00.000-05:00

So I have this habit. And I'm not going to say whether it's good or bad, but just that it exists and I'm trying to break it. Because there is better for me, at least in this season.

My habit revolves around journal angst. Do you guys ever have journal angst? I have journal angst that involves several layers of grief.

Layer 1 [one] is a layer of 'the-book-has-to-be-just-right' syndrome. I only enjoy journaling on graph paper, in hard-backed journals, with certain pens, in certain light ... it goes on. And on. And on.

Layer 2 [dos] is a layer of 'the-book-has-to-be-just-right' PLUS 'i-have-to-have-specific-books-for-specific-things'. Last year, that meant each of the following:

a.] a journal for PWI teaching notes

b.] a journal to carry with me everywhere, and record odds and ends

c.] a planner, with more odds and ends

d.] morning pages, to dump journal angst [and all art angst] in the mornings

e.] a song-writing journal, for all of my incomplete songwriting ideas

f.] a visual journal, for all of that art journaling i needed to do

g.] a sketch book journal

h.] a brown-paper journal, for white chalk, black ink and the occasional splash of red

i.] artist's way journal, for artist's way notes

Uh, that's crazy. I'm aware.

Layer three [trois] of the crazy was all of the above PLUS PLUS a layer of 'i-have-to-be-in-the-right-space-[mental and physical]-for-this-to-work.'

Meaning that yes, every time I had something songwriting to write down, I had to wait until I was with my songwriting journal, in a songwriting headspace, ready to think songwriting thoughts. Which, of course, meant that when I got to that place, which was never perfect enough, I had lost the thought I originally was going to write down in the first place. Same with EVERY SINGLE JOURNAL I OWNED in 2009. Crazy - again, I'm aware.

So here we are, in 2010, and something has to change. Here's the plan - one life, one journal for said life. Everything caught in one book: inspiration, snippets of poetry, lists, budgets, notes, sketches, prayers, confessions, stories, calendars ... all in one book.

My life isn't perfect. It isn't neatly packaged, by any stretch of the imagination. I am coming to terms with the fact that I will be 'in transition' for the rest of my life. This is the life I want, though, and I need to stop wishing it was anything less. And in an attempt to mark and record an unperfect life, I need an unperfect journal ['imperfect', i know, but i like unperfect better. even though it's not a word].

Marking my unperfect life with an unperfect journal. Sounds perfect, huh?

what i'm excited about today

2010-01-15T10:06:00.001-05:00

My brother and I have been working on a new short video for Water's Edge. I'm super excited about it, and can't wait to share it with you in a few weeks! I also made a short behind-the-scenes vlog to go with it, but I'll wait until the video goes public to post the vlog. So much fun!

Until then, though :] My dear blog friends get a sneak-peek at some screen-caps from the video! I think they're just lovely. Don't laugh at me when I tell you that the video is going along with the song Amazing by Kanye. It's going to rock so hard.

ps - you can see a version of the last stop-motion we did over here: http://vimeo.com/8433109

my first vlog! [a story about a grant package]

2010-01-09T22:33:00.000-05:00

Today was a crazy huge day at my job - a ginormous project left my desk and went to the post office, and this is a video blog about my adventures! I think it's pretty fun :]

katie's vlog - 1.1 from quietworldcreative on Vimeo.

rollercoaster part ii!

2010-01-03T19:57:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling that roller coaster feeling all over! {job, relationships, life, church, art, writing, food}

Trying so hard to press in instead of back away. I think backing away has been survival mode for me for so long that I don't really know what non-survival mode is supposed to feel like.

Operating out of a healthy place can be harder than it should be sometimes. Especially when you fear risk more than anything. {like me!}

Erwin McManus says this:

WE like to pretend it's hard to follow our heart's dreams. The truth is it is difficult to avoid walking through the many doors that will open. Turn aside your dream and it will come back to you again. Get willing to follow it again and a second mysterious door will swing open.

I like to pretend that I'm scared of failure. Really, though, I'm not. I've failed. I've failed big and kept on going. I'm really scared of moving out of a safe place. I'm really scared of not knowing.

Julia Cameron says that: Safety is a very expensive illusion. How true is this? When I'm seemingly 'safe' {or in 'survival mode}, how safe am I, really? When I'm comfortable because I know, what do I know, really?

The success of creative recovery hinges on our ability to move out of the head and into action. This brings us squarely to risk. Most of us are practiced at talking ourselves out of risk. We are skilled speculators on the probably pain of self-exposure.

We deny that in order to do something well we must first be willing to do it badly. Instead, we opt for setting our limits at the point where we feel assured of success. Living within these bounds, we may feel stifled, smothered, despairing, bored. But, yes, we do feel safe. And safety is a very expensive illusion. {julia cameron, the artist's way}

I just stopped and asked myself why I'm writing this blog entry. I think I needed to talk myself down off of my uber-controlled, what-the-heck-am-i-doing ledge. Needed to remind myself that I'm doing good and right things, and those good and right things are also brave things - doing brave things sometimes means butterflies in your stomach. And that's not something I need to run from.

...

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begint to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark. {Agnes De Mille}

2009

2009-12-31T22:14:00.000-05:00

I remember:

*having Harper Lee join our family
*not sleeping much
*going to Sarasota and almost dying
*playing with Royce in concerts
*re-writing every stick of music for The Wizard of Oz
*going on tour with Proskuneo
*being adopted by the Garmons
*starting the back&forth project with Betsy
*almost walking away from everything creative in my life
*starting the Artist's Way with Betsy [noticing a trend here?]
*drinking a lot of coffee
*going to Sarasota again and not almost dying
*being a part of a little something called PWI
*playing Muse @ Water's Edge
*playing music @ Hamilton Mill
*watching good movies
*reading a lot of My Life Is Average
*starting a new job
*starting this blog
*writing a lot of music
*writing a lot of writing
*sketching 'till three in the morning
*having a blanket fort built in my room
*going to the pumpkin farm
*taking a sabbatical after PWI
*going to the beach with the staff team
*being a reaaaalllly good cook
*falling back in love with music
*lots of weddings a lots of babies
*taking a bajillion pictures
*finishing multiple journals
*going to LONDON and basically freaking out about that
*wearing lots of soft clothes
*starting to love my life again

january songs

2009-12-30T08:56:00.000-05:00

I can usually measure every year by the monthly playlists of music I've made. I was creating my usual 'January Songs' playlist, when I noticed that I hadn't deleted last years. I love this comparison of what I was listening to last year, and then this year:

last year:

this year:

I'm loving Mute Math this month, as well as Regina {always} and Phil Wickham and Hauschka {new and weird and i love it!}

what i need to be able to function normally

2009-12-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

This time of year, I hold tightly onto anything and everything beautiful, magical and shiny. The heavy things I tend to carry cause me to cling to simple beauty as a life-raft. Glitter brings me hope. Quiet and time and space to think brings me to tears. A blanket fort built as a surprise by friends drew the first real smile I've held in a week. Laying on the floor, looking up at the Christmas lights that held up the blankets reminded me that there is always hope. God does love me.

{and my friends love me too - they really did build me a surprise blanket fort. best christmas gift ever}

quiet world

2009-12-29T09:25:00.000-05:00

I took some time out last night to go shoot a stop-motion sunset. It was freezing yesterday, and something about the cold makes the air and the light so clear! It was breathtakingly beautiful out there. So many shots in this video remind me of why I am quiet+world+creative. I became who I am in this place. As much as I look forward to leaving here someday soon, to live closer to my life, I will always have a spot in my heart for this place, this land, this light.

enjoy :] all photography copyright paul holley and katie holley, 2009 and original music copyright katie holley 2009.

my quiet world from quietworldcreative on Vimeo.

apples to apples :]

2009-12-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

favorite set of portraits from christmas [looooving my new 50 mm prime lens. I officially take back any time I've ever thought of myself as a photographer before I had this lens].

24 things

2009-12-26T21:37:00.000-05:00

24 things I want to do before I turn 25. They really aren't all huge, or appear huge, but some of them [like the edgy haircut] are big hurdles for me and I'd like to lean into them this year. Maybe next year's list will include loosing 25 pounds or climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, but this year ... we'll tackle sketchbooks and haircuts!

best memories of 2009

2009-12-26T12:21:00.000-05:00

more photo collages! get excited!

christmas memories 2009

2009-12-26T12:13:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a beautiful Christmas! Thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures from yesterday's festivities :]

check back soon for some more collages of my favorite photos from this last year. i'm also starting to think about 2010, so there should be some good blogging from that, as well. much love!

longest week ever.

2009-12-16T15:01:00.001-05:00

this is how i feel this week:

from this girl, via tumblr.

top of the roller coaster

2009-12-12T10:14:00.000-05:00

You know that feeling that you get when you ride a roller-coaster? When you're at the top of the first big hill, and the roller-coaster stops for just a second before letting you plummet to the bottom? You can get that feeling in life, sometimes, too. Not everything is that top-of-the-hill stomach drop, but a lot of things come really close.

I'm learning that I often get a hint of that feeling, and do everything to stop it. Including never going on roller-coasters! Sometimes that feeling is called:

*Risk

*Trying new things

*Love

*Relationship

*Being the new girl

*Speaking up

*Being brave in my life and art

*Making my own choices

And since each of these things include a roller-coaster stomach-drop [for me] then ... I avoid them! At all costs! But what if ... life is about feeling that feeling as often as it comes? What if I'm supposed to be leaning in to that feeling instead of running away? How much of my life have I missed at twenty-four?

I guess I'll be learning to lean in in 2010. What about you?

Decemberween!

2009-12-06T21:32:00.000-05:00

Oh my goodness, is it the end of the first week of December and I haven't blogged anything yet?

Some yummy photos, inspirations and updates on recent art projects coming soon! Much Christmas-season love!

olafur arnalds

2009-11-29T21:57:00.000-05:00

i still can't get enough of this song, or this video:

Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið (Official Music Video) from Erased Tapes on Vimeo.

life images

2009-11-29T21:49:00.001-05:00

this is a little collection of images from my inspiration file - some things/ideas i want more of in my life in the coming year. what do YOU want?

late nights

2009-11-27T16:38:00.001-05:00

Most nights I go to bed pretty early [10.30-ish, if I make it home from my LIFE that early. This week, I've been eating DINNER at 10.30, which is ridiculous, but beside the point.] These last few weeks, I've been staying up late. I've had this little project pouring out of my pen, and I can't seem to stop it. So I'm going with it! You can see two weeks worth of illustrated sketches over on my flickr. They make me happy :]

happy friday!

2009-11-20T08:33:00.000-05:00

happy friday :]

ooh, i ...

2009-11-18T23:43:00.000-05:00

self-sabatoge:

i hate when i do this - work really hard all day, then get to the end of work and think, there's nothing more i want to do in the world than put on sweats, crawl in my huge squishy bed and watch that new-to-me-jeff-daniels-laura-linney movie i just thrifted. but then i think, noooo, you should be productive and accomplish things. but then, on my way to accomplishing things, i'm tired and i get distracted and i end up staying up 'till 11 in an uncomfortable chair watching random interviews on youtube. i would have been happier if i had just gotten in bed like i wanted, instead of talking myself out of it in the name of 'productivity', which i was too tired to even think about in the first place. gah.

i need someone to give me a good 'chill out, relax, go easy on yourself sometimes' talking-to. i also need to go to bed!

things that have been inspiring me today ...

2009-11-18T21:43:00.000-05:00

this music video

and this music video

red furniture

this new journal {currently sitting on my desk}

this amazing desk {i'm on a quest for the perfect desk right now. why is it so hard??}

what is inspiring you today?

this week @ quiet world ...

2009-11-06T09:56:00.000-05:00

back + forth project

2009-11-04T00:10:00.002-05:00

there's a new spread posted on the Back&Forth blog :] go check it out!

http://backandforthproject.wordpress.com/

here's a sneak peek:

shortcuts + the long way around

2009-11-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

My GPS always gives me the shortest route between me and my destination.

No one ever gives you directions for the scenic route.

No one ever chooses to stand in the longest line in the grocery store.

Right?

But sometimes, standing in the longest line helps you find the right word. Sometimes, letting your brain ramble around a little, instead of constantly going directly from thought A to thought B gives you better conclusions, more solid theories and stronger images.

Sometimes I feel like taking the long way home in a world that only accepts shortcuts and fast lanes.

the three-day cake

2009-10-23T12:56:00.000-04:00

Process and product ... I've been writing a lot in my journal + morning pages about how both of those things fit into my life and my creativity. I tend to go back and forth between being product minded in my life and art, and being process minded. I still can't find a healthy balance between the two, but I'm finding that the more I think about it and dive into what it means to be a process-minded yet productive artist, I'm finding that there are situations put in front of me for me to choose which I'm going to give higher value [at least at that moment].

Then came the three-day cake. This cake, to be exact. I've had this recipe for years, and was waiting for an occasion [read: reason] to make it. My birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity! Birthday was on Monday, started making the cake Monday afternoon. Didn't get to actually finish and eat the cake until Wednesday night. Late.

Lets just say that it's hard to complete an insane Martha Stewart recipe when you work full time, are working overtime to make up for some unexpected time off, also do freelance AND have some semblance of a social life. It really did take me three days to finish this cake. BUT ... when it was done. Oh my gosh. Pictures are the only way to do it justice:

[click for biggie. highly recommended :]]

Lesson learned? It's okay to enjoy the journey [process] as much as you value the destination [product/cake]. And it's okay to anticipate the product and put energy into making it the best it can be. And it's okay to halt production to check in with your process. Is it healthy? Is it true to your art? Are you putting too much expectation on it?

Lesson learned: Process is something you trust in to get to a product that you enjoy [or eat].

focus

2009-10-14T16:33:00.000-04:00

{quote (c) erwin mcmanus, design (c) quiet world creative }

2009-10-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

{image cred}

There is an episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai sits at her kitchen table with every flavor of Pop Tart in front of her. Why? "I don't know which one I like."

That's how I feel today. That's all.

p.s.

2009-10-09T22:48:00.002-04:00

{i realize that this is a deep and wordy post to jump back into the blogging world after a long absence. i just wanted to recognize that!}

life + life = life

2009-10-09T21:51:00.005-04:00

I decided something today: I want to be the person to ask business majors what their back-up plan for life is. I read a little Chelsea Talks Smack today {language caution, but she's brilliantly real and unfiltered, if that's your thing} and I love what she says here:

No one ever asks a med student, "So what are you going to do with your life?"

...because obviously, the answer is, be a Doctor.

Why should the answer be any different for an artist? If you create art, then you'll be an artist. If you want to be a teacher, you will teach. If you want to be a lawyer, you will go to school, you will be a lawyer. For some reason when it comes to a profession that has a shaky monetary value, at best, or lacks an outline- it makes people nervous. It makes people question your sanity, or scoff, or treat you like a child- like you're irresponsible and naive. You're the joke. Then comes the onslaught of questions...."So, what's your backup plan? What if it doesn't work out? How does your family feel about this? Well, don't you want health care?? Are you on drugs?" etc. etc.

Choosing to follow a passion that doesn't have a safety net, or a ladder to climb doesn't mean it's impossible - it simply means you'll find a way to make it work, or you'll give up. There is no grey area. And how you define "making it work" is up to you ... You will be laughed at, you will be jeered, you will be doubtful and you will then lick the wounds, and walk a bit taller.

My back up plan? I don't have a [expletive] back up plan, because when you things get hard, which they always do-in any profession, that "back up plan" BECOMES the plan. It's a cowardly way of giving up. Of surrendering under the pressure of other peoples ideals and expectations of your life.

Love her + her thoughts on this. I started thinking down this trail when I started working on a new website this week {an early birthday present from my dad - super awesome!} I told one of my best friends about this new project, and he replied, "So you're going to start selling your paintings?!" And he was REALLY excited about that idea {props to my awesome friends for being supportive.} I just thought ... do I wanna make my website about selling paintings? Do I wanna make my LIFE about selling paintings? And suddenly I was sucked into my usual vortex of insane over-thinking {we're talking ... laying awake at night after working a 12-hour day and then waking up at 4 am to think some more ...}

I feel like by defining my public image on my website, I'm defining myself - my values, my beliefs and my goals. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? Do I want my life to be about more than selling paintings and prints? In asking myself questions about my upcoming website, I've been asking myself questions about my upcoming life, too.

{about paintings and selling them: i love painting. LOVE it. but when i look at what percentage of my time is ever, or has ever been, spent painting, it doesn't follow that the next portion of my life will be devoted to selling them. i mean, i probably will, but that's not going to be my focus. but really, the largest percentage of my time has been spent playing the piano in a room by myself, so what the heck does that mean??}

It seems really intense {my friends can laugh and understand that that's just part of who I am}, but I've been led up to this moment by so many events over recent months, and by people who have crossed my path.

What am I waiting on? I've got a life to live {and not a ladder to climb}.

PHEWSH - that was my diatribe from my last few weeks of life. Thanks for reading to the end {if you did!} If you made it to this point, I'd like to offer a lovely image as a reward. You guys are the best!

best door - memphis tennessee

journal + pages

2009-09-21T22:54:00.005-04:00

i just recently finished a journal and thought i'd share some of my favorite spreads [i just typed 'favorite friends' and i don't really know why? but i guess they're friends? anyway. it's been a long day!]

living out your gifts

2009-09-21T22:20:00.000-04:00

This might just be one of my favorite photos of the year. This is my [genius] friend Rowan, doing what he does best [being a genius]. I love this photo so much; Rowan is a huge inspiration in my life, and this shot just captures his focus and drive.

productivity

2009-09-07T18:32:00.007-04:00

I think it's mildly ironic that a day off of work found me discovering more about work than any of my normal days AT work. [did you have to read that sentence as many different times as I had to re-write it? sorry! I'm ADD!]

Anyway, back to work talk. Or not really work talk, more like life talk. Through a series of clicks on a random blog, I found a link to the website inboxzero.com. Lots of reading, video watching and note-taking later, and ALL of my inboxes are currently at zero. Zero, people! I can't tell you the last time that my inboxes were at zero ... probably because they never really have been? Merlin Mann [in his video on inbox zero and email processing] proposes that your inbox should only hold emails that you haven't read yet. It's remarkably common sense, yet somehow, my e-mail inboxes somehow drain so much time and life away from my time and life!

Here's an idea from Mr. Mann: what is your life about? What are your priorities? Once you know this, answer the question: Do your internet viewing history/inbox/RSS feed/blog roll/bookmarks reflect what you are about? Or do you spend time looking at/reading/digesting things that you really don't care about?

Julia Cameron, in her book The Artist's Way [and oh man, could I blog about THAT book right now] suggests that for a creative, reading other people's words is like ingesting tiny, word-sized bites of junk food for the brain and spirit.

I guess I'm just feeling a little self-protective these days. I only want to engage my brain in things that reflect what I am about. Do I really need to bookmark 9,000 links to 9,000 websites I will never actually visit? Do I need to collect books that I don't really enjoy? I have big dreams for my life, and every word-sized bite of food I take in either adds to my dreams [nourishes] or takes away [depletes].

So thank you, inboxzero.com, for making me assess my life. I think I needed it.

back + forth project!

2009-08-31T23:00:00.001-04:00

P.S.! Betsy and I moved the Back+Forth Project into a new little home :] Be sure to check it out!

backandforthproject.wordpress.com

faces + places

2009-08-31T21:46:00.004-04:00

My friends Nate + Rachel got married two weeks ago in Minnesota, and this weekend was their reception at home in Georgia. My genius Mom did their flowers for their reception. Some of my favorite faces from the celebration:

new + loves

2009-08-31T20:06:00.005-04:00

This has been my creative life for the last few weeks: New visual journal pages:

Psalm 23: In progress ...

Palette and color :]

Brand new journal! I love love love starting new journals. They're such a part of who I am.

Huge canvas just waiting for some paint...

Back + Forth

2009-08-19T22:22:00.006-04:00

Earlier this year, my beautiful friend Betsy and I decided to start a journal collaboration. She completed the first spread in the journal (her blog about which can be seen here) and mailed it to me. My spread took it's formation clues from hers, and her next one will take it's cues from mine, and so on. We have very different styles, so the cohesion of the look of this project is going to be so interesting.

Jumping into this spread was so much more difficult than I had expected! I battled lots of fears to get this color on the page: fear of Betsy not liking it, of nobody 'getting' it, of it being too scattered, too 'much', too odd. I like to be assured of the outcome of the things that I attempt. I have often been accused of taking a "Ready ... Aim ... Aim ... Aim ..." stance in my life. I don't often take explosive action. I don't often try new things.

Then Betsy sends me a beautiful spread surrounding the idea of daring to dream new Dreams. As I was pondering what that looked like in my own life, I happened upon an article about Marissa Mayer, a female creative exec for Google. She had a quote in the article that I fell in love with, because it embodied so many of my thoughts about my own fear. So my pages were born around that quote - it answered, for me, the questions that Betsy's pages raised in me.

Okay, enough words, onto an image: collaged ink sketch + acrylic paint + handwritten text + type-written text.

click image for large version

About fifteen minutes after I put the final touches on these pages, I found myself muttering the words, "I never really try new things!" with a little laugh. I caught myself in that phrase, then quickly wondered if journaling can work retroactively. Yikes bikes.

new + photos

2009-08-17T17:37:00.002-04:00

just got my camera back from the shop :] here are some happy snapshots from this weekend in quiet + world:

new uniform

2009-08-07T15:40:00.004-04:00

Don't you guys love the end-of-summer/back-to-school/start-of-autumn season? It is absolutely my favorite time of year. I only wish I had a reason to by some back to school clothes [and maybe some school supplies!] I'm itching to mildly reinvent my style. Here are some things I've been craving lately:

american eagle straight jeans [ae.com]

military jacket [oldnavy.com]

military shirts [oldnavy.com]

cord vest [oldnavy.com]

long, cozy sweaters [oldnavy.com, again]

frye carson pull-on boots [piperlime]

Maybe it's time to hit up some thrift stores and hope for the best!

beach love

2009-08-07T09:39:00.002-04:00

one of my favorite photos from this last week:

my brother and his girlfriend in mexico beach, florida

confession

2009-08-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

i have a really hard time living in the present.

guys guys guys!

2009-08-02T18:30:00.003-04:00

I definitely got a very special package this week. [Pictured, left. Ignore the crazy eye] I am so excited to get to share with you guys about this new project contained in said package! For more details, you'll have to visit my friend Betsy's blog. Be on the look out for a blog specifically dedicated to this project. It's going to be a good one!

2009-08-01T17:50:00.004-04:00

this is what most of my day has consisted of:

really good chai [in a really clean kitchen]

crazy journaling/life planning
with many, many pens from my crazy collection.

love days to reflect :]

tiny + living

2009-08-01T14:30:00.003-04:00

I really enjoy my life; my friends, my job, my art, my personal growth, my spirituality. I do feel like I'm in a really good place, but every once in a while, I get the urge to sell everything, buy a tiny house and live a tiny little life in solitude. Okay, so maybe not in entire solitude, but wouldn't one of these little bitty houses be just the greatest studio retreats?

image via tiny house blog

morning eye candy

2009-07-21T07:28:00.004-04:00

This morning, I seriously can't stop looking at Samantha Reitmayer's house over on Design*Sponge. It's so completely gorgeous + retro + modern + girly + sleek all at the same time that, really, I can't stop looking. Like I might need help to stop.

edit: if you head over to samantha's blog, you can see a before/after of her little home. major swoon!

culinary adventures

2009-07-20T18:57:00.009-04:00

This is the story of how I made the most amazing ice cream in the world. I'll give you a step-by-step and a great link to the recipe!

Step 1: enjoy your last day of vacation and discover an amazing woman and her cooking blog @ thepioneerwoman.com/cooking

Step 2: be sucked in to reading 34 pages of recipes because of her ridiculous pictures.

Step 3: realize that your mouth is watering at the pictures of her homemade blackberry ice cream.

exhibit a:
[photo by pioneer woman]

Step 4: decide to make this unbelievable creation.

Step 5: realize you don't have an ice cream churn. decide to brave WalMart on a Saturday to procure said ice cream churn.

Step 6: upon discovering the Man in the Confederate Flag Button Up With The Sleeves Cut Off, fully regret going to WalMart on a Saturday.

Step 7: unable to find Ice Cream Salt at WalMart, go down the road to the local grocery and find some. Buy a MoonPie just because you can and it's summer and it's right.

Step 8: start makin' ice cream! **

**at this point I should stop and point out that Pioneer Woman is an insane food photographer. Her shots all look incredibly professional and enticing. Mine, taken on the fly with a point-and-shoot, leave so much to be desired.

Step 9: realize that your fancy new ice cream church doesn't require Ice Cream Salt. boo.

Step 10: realize that each step of making ice cream takes longer than you thought. Make some sweet tea (with lime) to enjoy in the mean time.
Step 11: get out chips and salsa to pass the time.

Step 12: browse the internets to pass the time.

Step 13: yes! We're ready to roll. Enjoy the DELICIOUS darkness of these blackberries. Don't worry about how badly they'll stain your counter tops later.

Step 14: Realize that the recipe calls for five egg YOLKS after you've filled your bowl with five egg WHITES. Be grateful you saved the yolks!

Step 15: Get out more bowls and utensils than you think you own.

Step 16: Forfeit the quality of your ice cream to sneak an arty shot while you should be stirring something. Miss your DSLR.

Step 17: Mix some stuff! Enjoy the pretty colors!

Step 18: Forget to take any more photos after this, but go ahead and churn the mix (only took 25 minutes in the new machine!), freeze and ENJOY EVERY BITE. for the real recipe (with a legit step by step), go here.

In all seriousness, though, I've been feeding my culinary spirit lately. I'm really looking forward to cooking for the staff team next week while we're on our retreat. I've been caught up in the world of menu-planning and grocery-list-making, and really enjoying it. Maybe in my next life I'll get to be a chef. For now, I'll just keep drooling over Pioneer Woman's creations.

Love!
--k

shots from the studio!

2009-07-15T22:53:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited to have been able to take a few days during my 'staycation' and reorder my world. My bathroom's never been cleaner and I've never been happier. Happiest of all, though, is a renewed studio space! I've never been that artist who can live and work in chaos. I like to work in a clean-ish space (I know that 'clean' in a studio space is pretty relative, but you know what I mean, right?)

Some shots of my renewed inspiration boards!

my inspiration boards hang over my drafting table, where most of my creative/writing work gets done during the week:
Since I've been on 'staycation' I've been catching up on podcasts while I paint.

Coming up this weekend: sneak peeks of some new creations + thoughts on creative process :]

--k